I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
