dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
