Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Randomize
