I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
