It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
