Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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