you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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