i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
