so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
