I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
