your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize