Already got asked if we're dating
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
