Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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