11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize