just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
