Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
