I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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