dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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