Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize