can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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