So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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