you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
