Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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