Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
