JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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