Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
