covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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