I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
