my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
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