Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
