Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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