Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
