Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How does it feel to date your dad?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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