Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
