I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize