i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
