he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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