her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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