Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
