Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
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