Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
