Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
