the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
