she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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