Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
