If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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