Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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