Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
