Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
