i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Someone signed my nipple.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
