census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
