The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
