oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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