Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Randomize
