I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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