She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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