she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
