I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
