Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
