We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
