Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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