So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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