Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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