I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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