I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
