Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize