I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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